As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
