Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
