Nicole vs. Life
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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