just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
