UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
