I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
