oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
