My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
