obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
