she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
