You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
