Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
