My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
They have beer where we have blood.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
