So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
