I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
