i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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