i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
time to smoke my breakfast
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
