I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
