yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize