On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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