There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
