Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize