I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
