just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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