shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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