And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
