So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
