OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
