We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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