i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
