I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
