): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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