More tranny stories later!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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