i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
