like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
