is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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