And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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