I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize