Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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