it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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