Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
