I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
