love makes seman taste better
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
