I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
