I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
No stitches, just platelets and will power
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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