Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize