you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
