Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
