I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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