I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
