did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
