And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
