Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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