goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
