he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
