You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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